From April 10, 2007 blog
Soon after the newly-crowned Speaker of the House, the Honorable Ms. Nancy Pelosi, bore a state-of-the-art olive branch to Damascus for an intimate tête-à-tête with the Syrian leader, the Equally Honorable Bashar al-Assad, I, as the presumptive candidate for President of the United States (POTUS) of the Dead Rights Party (DRiP), chose to follow Madame Speaker’s example by flying to Damascus, though bearing an updated, beta version of the aforementioned olive branch.
Premiere le dictateur Bashar le Sade and I met in the anteroom of his harem, which, he proudly had informed me as we loitered around his marble fortifications, was immediately to the rear of his gold-embossed row of state-of-the-art gallows, which in turn abutted the Royal Courtroom—all, he explained, in the name of efficiency.
Our behind-the-scenes diplomatic discussion began with a chat about an upcoming soccer match between the Iraqi National Team (the Bazookas) and its long-time rival, the Israeli “Doves,” as he called them.
It continued with an interrogation session in which he posed the question, in perfect Arabic, “What the hell are you doing here?” (Translation mine.)
I replied that the newly-adopted policy of the United States was that any politician within its borders was de facto an intermediary between We The People and any foreign power, whether said foreign power has the status of a nation or is merely an NGO.
“Ah yes,” he said, this time with a French accent. “The lady who was here last week . . .”
I nodded, as a token of my understanding of his reference to Madame Speaker Pelosi.
It does not devolve upon me here to report the contents of our negotiations. It is enough to say that when I left the Damascus airport to which he accompanied me in his stretch Hummer, we had hammered out a binding verbal agreement.
For his part, he agreed to give serious consideration to the distant possibility that he and his cabinet would, in future, recognize the rights of dead people to be cremated, fitted with robotic apparatuses, and given the right to vote for him.
In return, I agreed that We the People would require the POTUS to issue a presidential pardon for any and all atrocities he (Assad) or his emissaries may or may not have committed within the nation of Lebanon.
Soon after the newly-crowned Speaker of the House, the Honorable Ms. Nancy Pelosi, bore a state-of-the-art olive branch to Damascus for an intimate tête-à-tête with the Syrian leader, the Equally Honorable Bashar al-Assad, I, as the presumptive candidate for President of the United States (POTUS) of the Dead Rights Party (DRiP), chose to follow Madame Speaker’s example by flying to Damascus, though bearing an updated, beta version of the aforementioned olive branch.
Premiere le dictateur Bashar le Sade and I met in the anteroom of his harem, which, he proudly had informed me as we loitered around his marble fortifications, was immediately to the rear of his gold-embossed row of state-of-the-art gallows, which in turn abutted the Royal Courtroom—all, he explained, in the name of efficiency.
Our behind-the-scenes diplomatic discussion began with a chat about an upcoming soccer match between the Iraqi National Team (the Bazookas) and its long-time rival, the Israeli “Doves,” as he called them.
It continued with an interrogation session in which he posed the question, in perfect Arabic, “What the hell are you doing here?” (Translation mine.)
I replied that the newly-adopted policy of the United States was that any politician within its borders was de facto an intermediary between We The People and any foreign power, whether said foreign power has the status of a nation or is merely an NGO.
“Ah yes,” he said, this time with a French accent. “The lady who was here last week . . .”
I nodded, as a token of my understanding of his reference to Madame Speaker Pelosi.
It does not devolve upon me here to report the contents of our negotiations. It is enough to say that when I left the Damascus airport to which he accompanied me in his stretch Hummer, we had hammered out a binding verbal agreement.
For his part, he agreed to give serious consideration to the distant possibility that he and his cabinet would, in future, recognize the rights of dead people to be cremated, fitted with robotic apparatuses, and given the right to vote for him.
In return, I agreed that We the People would require the POTUS to issue a presidential pardon for any and all atrocities he (Assad) or his emissaries may or may not have committed within the nation of Lebanon.
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