Some have wondered how a dead, deceased, discombobulated can of ashes would be able to read, write, talk, and run for the highest office in the land.
I’m here to tell you that he can. I’m also here to tell you how he can.
Early in 2015, his aide, Ms. Bedwell, prevailed upon a scientist by the name of Myles na Gopaleen, Jr., founder of the Myles na Gopaleen, Jr. Think Tank (MGJTT), to make her star charge whole, or as whole as a can of ashes can aspire to be.
Mr. MGJ was up to the challenge. After five minutes of intense yogic activity, he came forth with the notion that Mr. Ennis could be outfitted with a robotic apparatus that would be able to speak good English and a smattering of Russian, walk about, gesticulate, put on his Perry Ellis designed raiment on arising, take it off at night, and run for president. He was, however, unable, being a theoretician, to actually build the outfit, but a cellcon to a connection with a Silicon Valley startup enabled his notion to become reality.
And so it was that Ab Ennis, outfitted with a set of Bose speakers and specially-designed soft lips, was able to declare his political intentions, found the Dead Rights (political) party, kiss kids without passing along stray germs, and perform other acts proper to a candidate who could boast of having no political experience but having the capacity to return America to its pristine, Edenic state.
I’m here to tell you that he can. I’m also here to tell you how he can.
Early in 2015, his aide, Ms. Bedwell, prevailed upon a scientist by the name of Myles na Gopaleen, Jr., founder of the Myles na Gopaleen, Jr. Think Tank (MGJTT), to make her star charge whole, or as whole as a can of ashes can aspire to be.
Mr. MGJ was up to the challenge. After five minutes of intense yogic activity, he came forth with the notion that Mr. Ennis could be outfitted with a robotic apparatus that would be able to speak good English and a smattering of Russian, walk about, gesticulate, put on his Perry Ellis designed raiment on arising, take it off at night, and run for president. He was, however, unable, being a theoretician, to actually build the outfit, but a cellcon to a connection with a Silicon Valley startup enabled his notion to become reality.
And so it was that Ab Ennis, outfitted with a set of Bose speakers and specially-designed soft lips, was able to declare his political intentions, found the Dead Rights (political) party, kiss kids without passing along stray germs, and perform other acts proper to a candidate who could boast of having no political experience but having the capacity to return America to its pristine, Edenic state.
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