Let’s see if I’ve got this right. One of our national parties is offering us a choice between a Communist and a crook. The other party is allowing us to pick either a carnival clown or a Christian crusader.
Some of you will quibble that the Communist is only a socialist. You’re probably right, but you’re messing with my fascination with the letter C.
Some of you will protest that whether the other candidate is really a crook has not yet been determined. Technically you’re right, though the smart money is on the other side.
There is no doubt, however, except by those riding one of the other party’s bandwagons, that their front-runner is really a carnival clown (witness his words and acts) and his opponent is a crusader for the Christian cause (witness his pose, voice, and delivery, which are those of the common American evangelist). Put a floppy Bible in his one hand and he will thump it with the other.
So we have four C’s. To which I would like to add another, who is, I am told, poised to run as a candidate of a brand new party. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you . . . a cadaver: Ab Ennis, late of that great metropolis, Lava Hot Springs, Idaho (2010 population 407, down from 2000’s 521).
He’s dead, folks. I’ll grant you that. He died way back in 1958. His wife had him cremated, so technically speaking he’s no longer a cadaver; he’s a burnt-to-a-crisp crematee. And he represents the long-suppressed yearnings of the Dead Rights Party.
But more about Ab and his marvelous run in later posts.
Some of you will quibble that the Communist is only a socialist. You’re probably right, but you’re messing with my fascination with the letter C.
Some of you will protest that whether the other candidate is really a crook has not yet been determined. Technically you’re right, though the smart money is on the other side.
There is no doubt, however, except by those riding one of the other party’s bandwagons, that their front-runner is really a carnival clown (witness his words and acts) and his opponent is a crusader for the Christian cause (witness his pose, voice, and delivery, which are those of the common American evangelist). Put a floppy Bible in his one hand and he will thump it with the other.
So we have four C’s. To which I would like to add another, who is, I am told, poised to run as a candidate of a brand new party. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you . . . a cadaver: Ab Ennis, late of that great metropolis, Lava Hot Springs, Idaho (2010 population 407, down from 2000’s 521).
He’s dead, folks. I’ll grant you that. He died way back in 1958. His wife had him cremated, so technically speaking he’s no longer a cadaver; he’s a burnt-to-a-crisp crematee. And he represents the long-suppressed yearnings of the Dead Rights Party.
But more about Ab and his marvelous run in later posts.
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